CARLY: We like each other lots…it’s still true! Ben is a strong, beautiful, layered and complex creature. We hang out, say lots of things and say nothing. When Ben went mountain climbing for a few days I felt pretty lost…we didn’t have enough time together at home to feel this, it’s always been pretty easy to come and go. Nothing to hide…sickness, fear, what jumps out of us naturally, our best selves, our very boring empty selves…we’ve seen a lot, a lot more than we would’ve sharing working lives at home in this same amount of time and we really needed that. We frustrate each other more than anyone else in the world and that can be scary but it’s ok. We’ve discovered lots of new gems and realised that we’re more on the same page then we thought!
Ben and I also needed to see what we’re made of, what we’ve got, what it looks like to be together everyday and really only have each other. To grind through the really freaking frustrating stuff and wholeheartedly enjoy being such close friends. We want to choose to live in parts of the world where many wouldn’t, we want to be completely ourselves with the community we share life with but we had to jump in the deep end with each other first or we just would not last. Ask us more, we’re happy to share!
The ‘Common Prayer’ book shares 12 values or commitments that mark a ‘new monastic life’, a life following and wrestling with Jesus and lived deliberately with people on the margins of our world. They have become some important foundations for us. Some we feel at peace with, others to keep working on and some that are a deep challenge.
- Locating our lives in the abandoned places of the empire
- Shared Economics
- Celebrating singleness and marriage
- Submission to Christ’s body, the church
- Care for creation
- Geographical proximity
- Contemplative prayer
- Formation in the way of Christ
- Nurturing a common life
BEN: Wow, in so many ways! One thing I ponder as I write this in Rio airport is that I don’t feel as sad about leaving and having life change all around me with no one truly being able to understand… Because Carly is constant… where everything else will become a story and just history. We will always share the joys and struggles and blessings of this adventure. What a gift for our marriage as we start out.
- we know each other so much more now than we did when we started
- we have heaps more fun together
- we know how to frustrate each other even more
- we have come away knowing each others heart for vocation, and mission and community
- we are ready to share our life with others
- our values are lining up more because they have been thrashed out, talked out and lived out.
I am so excited to live out this next season of life with Carly and feel so at peace knowing that it’s her next to me.